Excerpts from The Secret of Childhood regarding Dr. Montessori's required Spiritual Preparation Of The Teacher:


The educator must not imagine that he can prepare himself for his office merely by study, by Becoming a man of culture. He must before all else cultivate in him certain aptitudes of moral order.


The crucial point of the whole question is the manner in which he considers the child, and this cannot depend on external factors as though it demanded merely a theoretical knowledge of child nature or of modes of teaching and correction.


Here is what we wish to emphasize is the fact that the educator must prepare himself inwardly.   He must examine himself methodically in order to discover certain definite defects that may become obstacles in his relation with the child.   To discover defects that have become part and parcel of his consciousness requires help and instruction just as we need another to observe and tell us what lies at the back of our eye.


In this sense the educator needs to be "initiated" into his or her inner preparation.   He is too preoccupied with bad tendencies in the child, how to correct his undesirable actions . . .


Instead he should begin by seeking out his own defects, and such tendencies in him as are not good. . . . This his inner preparation is something general; . . . It is not necessary to become "perfect," free from every weakness, in order to become an educator.   Indeed it is possible for those continually concerned with perfection of their inner life to remain unconscious of the defects that prevent them from understanding the child.   That is why it is necessary to learn, to be guided, and to be trained to become educators.


. . . The true educator is the man who rids himself of the inner obstacles which make the child incomprehensible to him; he is not simply the man who is ever striving to become better.   Our instruction to educators consists in showing them what inner dispositions they need to correct, just as a doctor might point out the particular and definite disease that is weakening or threatening a physical organ.


. . . We meet resistance by a small fiction, but this means that we are offering battle not entering upon a way of perfection.   The result is that, as in all warfare, organization soon becomes plainly desirable; individual tendencies find refuge in collective tendencies.


Persons with the same defect are led instinctively to support each other; they seek strength through union.   They build, as it were, fortifications against the hosts that oppose their vices.


. . . The weaker the external forces that oppose our defects the more time and ease we have to build the screens to camouflage our defenses.   By pausing on these reflections, we come to realize that we are more attached to our vices than we think; . . . teaching us to hide subconsciously even from ourselves.


Now the educator, or in general anyone, wishing to educate children must purge himself of that state of error that puts in in a position of falsity towards the child.   The prevalent defect must be clearly defined . . . pride and anger.


. . . Pride cloaks the personality of the grown-up in a series of robes which make it look pleasing and even entitled to respect.


. . . Anger is a manifestation which a man finds it hard to accept from others.   Hence it is kept prisoner when confronted by strength.   The man who speedily finds himself in the humiliating position of being forced to retreat becomes ashamed of his anger.


We therefore find a real outlet in meeting persons unable to defend themselves or to understand us, such as children who believe everything they are told.   Children not only soon forget our offenses, but feel guilty of all which we accuse them. . . .


We would have the educator here reflect upon the very serious effects of such conditions on the child's life.   It is only the child's reason that fails to realize the injustice; his spirit feels it and becomes oppressed or even deformed.   Childish reactions then appear, as expressions of an unconscious defense. Timidity, lying, caprice, frequent tears without apparent cause, sleeplessness, every form of exaggerated fear. Obscure things like these represent unconscious defense states in the little child, whose intelligence is not yet able to grasp his real relation to the grown-up. But anger does not always mean physical violence.


The crude, primitive impulse usually understood by this word may lead to complex manifestations.   The man of greater psychological maturity masks and complicates his inner states . . . In fact, anger in its simple form comes out only as a reaction to open resistance by the child.   But in the presence of more obscure expressions of the child soul, anger and pride fuse together in a complex whole which assumes that precise, quietly, and respectable shape, known as tyranny.


. . . "Respect" is on one side only; the weak respecting the strong.   It is thought legitimate for the adult to "offend" the child.   He can judge the child, or speak ill of him, and does it openly, even so as to hurt his feelings.   The child's needs are directed or suppressed by the adult at will.   A protest from the child is considered insubordination that it would be dangerous to tolerate.   This is a form of government on a primitive model, when the subjects have only to pay their taxes without question.   There have been people who believed that every good was secured to them by the beneficence of their sovereign, and in the same way children think that they owe all to the adult.   Or rather, it is the adult who instilled this belief.   His camouflage of creator is organized.   He in his pride believes that he creates in the child all that he is.   It is the adult who makes the child intelligent, good, and religious; that is, provides him with the means he wil need for communication with his environment, with men, and with God.   This is a difficult task.   To complete the picture the adult denies that he is a tyrant.   Where is the tyrant who ever confessed to sacrificing his subjects?


The preparation our method demands of the educator is that he should examine himself, and purge himself of his sins of tyranny, he must tear down that ancient complex of pride and anger that unconsciously encrusts his heart; strip himself of pride and anger and become humble; this first of all; then clothe himself in charity.   These are the spiritual qualities he has to acquire.   This is the central point of balance without which it is impossible to proceed.   This is his "training," its starting point, and its goal.


We do not mean that he must approve all the child's acts or refrain from judging him, or that nothing has to be done to help the development of his intelligence or feelings.   Quite the contrary; it must not be forgotten that the aim is to educate, to become a real helper to the child.   But first comes an act of humility, the rooting-out of a prejudice embedded in our hearts; . . .


We do not hold that the child should be denied such help as education can give him, but that there must be a radical change in our own inner state, which prevents us as adults from understanding him.


How can we begin to prepare ourselves in this way?   Dr. Montessori did not specific a specific formula, but acknowledged that there are many different paths that can lead to this destination.   Here are some ways that may work for you:


Be open to transformative change within yourself.


Reflect with the purpose of becoming self-aware and see if your actions helped cause the problem.   As you become aware of how your emotions, actions, and words affect others, You may discover that you contribute to problems more than you realized.


Actively Listen to the other person with the goal of understanding her opinions and emotions.


Speak courteously and respectfully and never speak to release anger.   Release anger another way.   Speak to others with the purpose of communicating or bonding -- not for the purpose of Releasing.


Seek honest feedback from others so you can learn and grow from it.   People will not always be willing to be so honest though, so be appreciative of any feedback you get, even if you do not like it or agree with it at the time.   If someone does something you don't like, reflect deeply and see if you may be contributing to the cause.   For example, if you do not like if someone seems anxious/angry/impatient/critical/judgmental around you, reflect and see if you are putting out an anxious/angry/impatient/critical/judgmental vibe.   If someone is doing something you do not like, are you understanding why they are doing that?   For example, is a child misbehaving because he is bored/tired/overwhelmed and if so, what can you do to alleviate that?


If you are feeling unloved, self-reflect and see if you are behaving in a loving manner.


If people are habitually not paying attention to you, are you acting in ways that inspire them to focus on you?


If people seem to be avoiding you, are you acting in ways that may them feel comfortable around you?


If your co-worker or student is not doing the work as you think she should be doing it, reflect on why you think this may be.   -- Is it because she doesn't know how to do it?   Have you taught her?   If so, are you so critical of her that you have caused an "avoidance" response or caused her to be unable to relax and feel comfortable enough to be able to function well?


What are some others ways you can think of that may apply to your situation?